I have had zero time to blog about what all has gone on. If you would of told me a year ago that I would be at Hillcrest High School, working at Subway and living with my Papa Paul, I would of told you that you were out of your mind. But thats where I am at right now in my life. I am in my second semester at Hillcrest and I guess it has gotten slightly better. First semester was a mess. I cried a lot. I had the worst attitiude over everything. I stopped reading my Bible. I was awful. I never saw my grandma anymore. I missed hanging out with my friends. I was angry at God and what he was making me go through. But over the last 5-6 months, I realized something. I got saved this summer, and God knew that I needed to be at Hillcrest for a reason.. but why?! Our work, our school, wherever we are is our missions field. Since going here, I have witnessed to numerous people and I have been able to be the light in a very dark place. You could say that I've gotten better, and yeah I think I have. But I still have my moments when I get upset over a rude comment someone says, or when I think about what I "should" be doing at Ash Grove. I still get emotional and shed silly tears. But thats just a part of the grieving process I suppose. My heart will always have a spot for Ash Grove and I believe thats where my home truely is here on Earth. But its only my temperary home. Heaven is my real home, so there is no use in getting upset over things on Earth. Through this experience, it has helped me realize things about myself that I need to work on. I don't do well with change, even the slightest bit. I close people out and take my anger out on them. I also keep to myself and dont let people in even when they try to help. Worst of them all, I took God out of the equation. Not only was I closing my family out, but I closed off from God. Im still working on mending that relationship, but it's getting better.
I will try and post more often since I am in a computer class and have a lot of free time!
XOXO
Bethany
